85th day of Summer, Kil’ead, Brucia

Meramon seemed to think that I was merely overwhelmed when he asked me yesterday to take the throne. He asked me again today. I refused him again. He said I had to do it, and I told him that no, I didn’t. I couldn’t tell him why in front of Eliana… she’d have felt guilty, perhaps, or might have thought she had to leave me. I need her… I love her!

Intimara swayed around the house as though drunk. Yesterday she had looked scared, worried, concerned, startled – all at once. She had been like a timid but energetic puppy. She was constantly in every doorway, then away again. Today… she merely reeled. She let out an occasional hiccup, but was otherwise silent. Her eyes were no longer wide or alert, and she avoided my gaze. Her hair was an unkempt cascade about her face and down past her shoulders, all the way to her waist. She refused to eat or sit down. She went to the door several times, and each time pressed her ear to the wood, then opened it, looked out, then retreated and closed it and slumped against the foot of the door. Meramon must have told her.

Meramon rummaged about the house; he searched through chests and shelves for odds and ends. He made a point of glaring at me between breaths, as though it was completely my fault that we couldn’t stay long. That hurts. Why should I be to blame? Supposing I did claim the throne… what then? Would there be anyone left here for me to command? Thieves and thugs, perhaps. And dragons. If I had to lead my people – and it feels odd enough as it is to call Brucians mine – then I’d need to go to them, not to the cold seat that had sent them eastward and then abandoned them to scramble for safety. I remember resenting King Odyssen for summoning Father instead of traveling to him… so why should I do the same ill?

Eliana and Reyla tried talking to Sasha. Sasha seems not to speak, though; she smiled at their attempts at conversation, but instead of talking, she took their hands and placed them flat on her forehead, like Meramon did while she was in wyvern form. Reyla went shy, and Eliana tickled her, and all three of them started laughing. After that none of them talked except Reyla sometimes; she gushed her mind so fast that even linking minds seemed too slow for her. Watching them was funny and strange and touching. It was nice to see them happy. I wonder whether or not Sasha was able to answer all Reyla’s myriad questions.