I keep wishing the boy would be back now, or that I had gone with him. It’s a pity I don’t have Gaunt with me.
I miss Gaunt. He and I traversed a large chunk of Silencia together; granted, he wore out my legs on several occasions, and once turned my inner thighs raw, but I never held it against him. He was ever faithful. Eliana had raised him with love and care, and that had surely paid off a hundredfold. Tipsy, too, was a fair and devoted creature. They followed us through fire in Falamorna, lurker-infested shadows in Jarbia, greedy gazes in Brucia, past a dragon in Carapacia, and finally endured even the permanent stabling they had received in Acacia. I hope nothing ill has befallen them. If I’d known I was going to take a trip over the sea, I might have tried to smuggle Gaunt away with me.
I feel so empty… I have none of my friends here to talk to – not even Eliana, with whom I would share heart-to-heart conversations daily. It’s almost as though I am back in Yamlen, with nobody I know nearby and a kingdom hunting for me. At least this kingdom wants to crown me instead of murder me.
However, I haven’t heard any fuss about finding the king since I returned. Have the people given up? Did Meramon refute his statement? I don’t feel angry at him anymore… just upset. I even miss him. I wish he would listen to me, and try to understand why I can’t take the throne. But that Eliana should also urge me to take my rightful seat… does she not want to stay by my side?